To Stab the Sky
by ThinkingCAPSLOCK
Summary: Bro sits Dave down and forces him to watch episode after episode of shitty anime. But why is he doing this? And why does that pair of shades look so damn familiar?
1. Episode 1

**To Stab the Sky – 1**

"This is fucking stupid." Dave crossed his arms, body stiff with irritation. Why the hell was his brother making him do this? He hadn't seen this stupid show since he was a goddamn kid. It wasn't like they had been partying it up before the game, hanging out and chilling and watching flicks together. Bro was too busy for that, and frankly, so was Dave.

"Just watch the goddamn show." Bro cracked open a can of Faygo, putting his feet up on the coffee table.

"Why are you making me watch this shitty-ass anime, anyway," Dave complained. "Are you on acid. Is that it. Is it because the colours go great with the drugs. Because at least then I'd sort of understand."

"We're watching it because it is fucking amazing and you're a just a brat with no taste." Bro sipped his drink, staring at the blank screen. Or at least, that's what Dave assumed he was doing. It was pretty fucking hard to tell with those stupid pointy anime shades covering up his eyes all the time. Not that Dave was really one to talk.

"Whose fault is that, dickbag," Dave said.

"Just press play." Bro smacked Dave across the back of the head and Dave jammed his finger against the button. Dave knew Bro would harass him until he started the stupid show.

"That girl has huge tits," Dave said immediately, watching the opening animation.

"Yeah," said Bro.

"And that guy has your glasses," Dave said.

"Yeah," said Bro.

"Why is that kid talking about food. This is stupid."

"Willing suspension of disbelief. Get used to it, douchebag."

"That kid sounds like Egbert. His laugh is like Egbert."

"Shut up and watch the fucking show."

"That guy has huge nipples."

"I said watch the fucking show."

"Did that guy just say his name is Bro. That is fucking hilarious. Is that why you have his glasses. That is so lame, man. I can't believe you could be so lame. What is this drivel they're spouting. It's like if—"

"I said watch the goddamn show. Now shut your trap or I'll wire it fucking shut," Bro said with a grin. Dave narrowed his eyes—which, of course, Bro couldn't see.

"I think this is the weirdest thing you've ever made me watch. And I've seen your stupid fucking puppet porn."

"You liked it when you were younger."

"Yeah, well, I was a stupid little assfuck, now, wasn't I."

"You think anything's changed? Just watch the fucking show."

"I am so distracted by his fucking saucer nipples. How are you not distracted? They are massive. They are like if millions of radioactive spiders descended upon him during the night and hickied his nipples into-"

"Listen, brat, I told you to—"

But Dave suddenly got very quiet. Bro—the Bro on the screen, that is—was holding the kid close as the room shook. Dave knew that look. Anime Bro was going to do something really fucking stupid. "Is he going to be okay?"

"What?"

"He seems really…reckless." _Like you_, Dave thought.

Bro chuckled. "Yeah. Yeah, he is." He ruffled Dave's hair like he had so many years ago, when they used to sit on this couch and watch this very show. "Hey…how much of this do you remember?"

"Not that mu—that kid just came really close to cutting off something important. Holy fuck. Why is Bro not yelling at him."

"He's too cool for that, obviously." Bro replied.

"Fucking obviously. Who needs a goddamn cock anymore, dicks are lame." Dave leaned back. Without noticing, he had allowed himself to become more relaxed. It was just him and his bro, sitting on the couch and watching shitty anime. "That insert music was a little cool. Just a little."

"Hey, man, don't knock it. It was probably your first experience in the field of sick beats."

But Dave wasn't listening. "Okay, that kid is definitely Egbert. He's all—holy boobs. There are just tits everywhere right fucking now. Tits and asses are just all up in this show all of a sudden." Dave paused. "Bro sounds like you when you hit on chicks, man. Did you just fucking model yourself after this asshole."

"Of course not."

"Dude, I can see her ass cheeks. What the hell is wrong with you, showing this to me when I was a kid."

"You sure didn't mind."

"Of course not. I was the fucking cool kid to end all cool kids. Also fucking chesticles."

Silence again. Bro could tell Dave was really getting into the show—the younger boy was leaning forward ever so slightly, unmoving, his mouth set in the way that said he was really paying attention. But Bro also knew Dave would never admit it.

When the episode ended, Bro could tell that Dave wanted to see what happened next. He wondered if he should screw with him, just get up and say he had work to do.

But that wasn't why he was making Dave watch this. That would defeat the purpose of the experiment. So he just reached over and snatched up the remote.

"Want to watch another one?"


	2. Episode 2

**To Stab the Sky – 2**

Dave leaned against his brother's arm, hoping he wouldn't be called out for being such a pussy. But Bro didn't say anything. He just pressed the play button for the second episode.

"He has a sword like yours," Dave said. Bro noticed he hadn't been talking as much this time. Maybe he really had gotten into the show.

"We have a lot of swords, man," Bro replied.

Dave bit his lip. "Hey, what colour are that guy's eyes."

"What guy?" Bro said, an amused smirk playing across his lip.

"Don't fuck with me. The Bro guy."

"Why don't you just pay attention and find out?" Bro replied.

"Wow. More tits. They're jiggling. Did they spend the entire animation budget on the show on her boobs."

"Wouldn't you?" Bro replied.

"Why would you run around fighting in a fucking bikini. Not that I'm complaining, just… Why would you do that. That is like the least amount of armour you could wear."

"To get more viewers? I don't know. Maybe it's easier to run around. Who gives a fuck? Tits."

Dave gripped the couch a little as he watched two of the characters sitting on the mini-mech. His chest hurt a little just viewing the scene. "They've never seen the stars."

"Nope." Bro ruffled Dave's hair. For once, Dave didn't even complain. "Have you?"

"Of course I fucking have," Dave snapped.

"How clearly?"

"What the hell do you mean."

"We should look at the stars one night. We'll just go up to the roof and have a gentlemen's glasses pact and look at the stars."

"What the hell is wrong with you. Why the fuck are you saying weirdass shit like that."

Bro frowned. "There are a lot of things I've done wrong, Dave."

"Like what."

"Just trust me. I've fucked up royally. I'm just trying to fix that, so just fucking go along with it, okay?"

"Lame."

"How are massive balls of fire lame, you prick?"

"Just watch the fucking show."

Bro had to work to suppress a snort. Now it was _Dave_ that was shushing _him_. "Hey, the guy with the green hair must be you."

"What. What. No. Fuck. No. What the fuck. Just no. Gogdammit, you're such an asshole."

"He's even got your eyesha—"

"I will fucking destroy you. Don't try me, you assfuck douchebag."

Bro just laughed. It wasn't a cool-guy ironic laugh, but a rolling, rumbling, shaking laugh. Dave just made a noise in the back of his throat and slumped back against the couch.

"Nipples," said Dave.

"Are you still going on about that? See, man, that green guy is totally you. Bro was just about to cut him."

"No. No. Just fuck you."

"Hey, we used to sleep like that."

"Like what."

"You used to crawl into my bed when you got scared and crawl under my arm like a scared little—"

"Fuck you, you're making that up."

"Totally not, bro. You used to do that all the time."

"I did not."

"Would I lie to you?"

"Yes. Yes you would. You do it every fucking day."

"Yes, but that's different."

"Wow. Look at all the inverted colours. That is high budget editing right there."

"Shut up, brat."

Dave gave a sudden choke. "His eyes are red."

"Yep."

"I thought they were fucking purple."

"Nope." Bro smiled. "Here's an awesome fucking idea. What's say we make this a gentlemen's glasses pact from now on?"

"Why. That's stupid."

"Hey, man. Even TV Bro is on our side."

Dave watched in silence for a few minutes. "Okay." Carefully, he reached up and pulled off his shades. Bro did the same.

"Is it easier to watch now?"

"Fucking obvio—that's his dad."

"Yeah."

"His dad is dead."

"Yeah."

Dave looked away. "That's stupid. That's just…"

"Yeah."


	3. Episode 3

**To Stab the Sky – 3**

As was the newly declared tradition, both Dave and Bro pulled off their sunglasses as the show started.

"Wow. So many tits," Dave commented, leaning back and crossing his arms.

"You've said that before."

"It fucking deserves to be repeated, doesn't it. There are just so many chest bulges on this show that I'm not really sure what it's about anymore."

"Boobs and mechs, obviously."

"Are they…are they putting shades on that robot."

"Yes."

"Does that pig thing also have shades."

"Yes."

"Does just everyone on this show have fucking shades."

"Some of them have boobs." Bro grinned.

"Wow. Okay. I hope you aren't that shitty when it comes to chicks. TV Bro is kind of an idiot. How does he not notice."

"No shit. I'm not that oblivious when a girl is hitting on me."

"What the hell is that thing. It is like made of grapes. But it's a hippo."

"Just go with it."

"Holy fuck, how long is that guy's sword. Drawing a sword should not take that fucking long."

"He's just that much of a badass, obviously."

"Right. Obviously." He snorted. He watched a while longer. "How is 'you have a drill' supposed to be encouraging."

"Because you use it to pierce the goddamn heavens. Are you not paying attention? They say that like every fucking episode."

"Why does that blonde guy sound so familiar."

"He sounds familiar?"

"Just when he's screaming and shit."

Bro snorted. "Dude, that's old Link."

"What."

"You know, back when we had that shitty old game system and you were playing the game with that fairy kid and—"

"Oh. Shit. That's him. Seriously. Wow okay. I'm not going to be able to watch this without seeing that asshole all wearing a green fucking dress or something equally stupid. I don't know, maybe he'll forever be followed by a fuckass fairy shouting stupid instructions."

"Whatever turns you on, bro. I won't judge."

"Shit. No. I'm not you, asshole. I'm not like that."

Bro just chuckled, smirking.

"Wow, okay. Gratuitous sideboob is all up in this shot and I don't even know what they're saying now because just _that boob is right fucking there_."

"Hey, look, it's you again."

"For fuck's sake, I am not that shitty creepy green-haired douchebag."

"Sure you aren't. Just keep believing that."

"Whoa what the hell. The combination actually worked. How did it just magically repair itself. How the fuck did that happen."

"Miracles. Miracles made it happen."

"Oh of course. That totally fucking explains everything."

"Shut up. A great scene is coming up."

"How did that cape not just rot away. Hasn't it been fucking years."

"Magic. It's always fucking magic."

"Jegus, couldn't you have at least bullshitted a better story. Like saying that it's futuristic fabric or some shit."

"It's futuristic fabric."

"Fuck. You're just an insufferable prick."

"Nah, man," Bro said with a grin. "That's _you_."


	4. Episode 4

**To Stab the Sky – 4**

"Are you ready for another twenty-five minutes of awesome?"

"Just play the goddamn fucking tape and let's get this over with." But Dave had already taken off his glasses and was staring intently at the screen. It wasn't hard to guess what he was thinking once the shades were off—he could only bluff with the lower part of his face. So while his mouth was set in a deceptively straight line, his eyes were bright with anticipation. Bro wanted to laugh but stopped himself. He knew Dave would never agree to even one more episode if he did. So he pressed play.

Dave folded his arms impatiently as the opening played. "I'd rather be the blonde guy, to be honest."

"Nah, man, you're totally eyeshadow manchick."

"Fuck you, no."

"How about the kid."

"I am not the fucking kid."

"You totally are the kid."

"Fucking no I'm not. Just no. Just—holy shit did TV Bro's eyes just change colour."

"What?"

"What the hell. Never mind, they changed back."

"It all depends on the lighting, man."

"I guess I can accept that." Dave frowned slightly. "You know, sometimes I think this is just all supposed to be some sort of sex analogy."

"What the hell?"

"Never mind. Wow okay TV Bro is definitely you. He's throwing rocks at that poor kid, just like you used to throw me in the fucking air and try to chop me in half."

"Hey, man, you picked up the ninja wizard way of cool pretty fast. I'm pretty sure I remember you clinging to me koala-style from the back."

"I wasn't about to let you kill me, you crazy-ass baby killer."

"Hey, I didn't kill any babies." Bro grinned. "You were too smart for that to ever have happened. Oh, hey, don't cry."

"I am not fucking crying."

"TV you is crying because TV me crushed his precious little spide—"

"I am not that asshole for fuck's sake I told you that. Just try and say that one more fucking time. Also those are some pretty weird looking puppets."

"Puppets?"

"They're running down the hill. Aren't they puppets. Oh, wait they—okay, yes, there are boobs. There are more boobs and now TV Bro's gargantuan nipples are just everywhere."

"You know you love it."

"They haunt my fucking dreams, man. I am dreaming about weirdass massive animated nipples just coming down from above all because you're making me watch this shitty show."

"Maybe that's just your brain telling you that you have some repressed fetishes you weren't previously aware of." Bro grinned and glanced at Dave, who was too distracted by an on-screen argument to pay attention to Bro's teasing.

"Does putting on shades just automatically guarantee your victory in verbal duels in this show. Is that why he just put on those ridiculous glasses."

"Of course not. I wear these because fucking cool."

"And now just asses. All the asses. If this show isn't full of tits it's full of asses. Or sungl—did Tits just shoot at them. And now they're talking about TV Bro. Okay. Are long eyelashes actually attractive to chicks. That is weird."

"Well, you'll probably never find out, now, will you?" Bro replied.

Dave gripped the leather fabric of the couch between his fingers. "I guess the fuck not."

"Sorry, I didn't mean it like that." Bro reached over and thunked his hand down on Dave's head, ruffling the boy's hair.

"Get off me."

"Bitch."

"Assface."

Amused, Bro turned back to the program. But he didn't pull his hand back. Instead, he put an arm around his brother and slouched down to his level. Dave didn't seem to mind (or maybe he just didn't notice?) because he didn't say anything.

"Are those dogs running backwards." Dave narrowed his eyes, trying to understand the logistics.

"Just go with it. Man, you question fucking everything."

"I think what we should be paying attention to is the fact that you fucking _don't_. And why did TV Bro just smack the kid away. He's being an idiot. So really, he is exactly like you."

"Yep, basically. You're still the brat, though."

"I like how there are just fucking rainbows everywhere when they combine. Have they been leprechauns all along and you just haven't told me. Oh, look, the robots are mating."

"Wow, you have a fucked up concept of sex. That is obviously robo-grappling. Or do you need me to explain the birds and the bees to you?"

"Fuck no. Piss off."

"Aw, you're blushing."

"I am fucking not. Also that was a weird end. Real meta, writers. Having those minor characters framed saying goodbye to the screen rather than the other characters. Clever."

"Hey, man, don't knock it. You'd be surprised what can get people's attention."

"Oh, I'm sorry, I'm not the puppet porn expert here. Tell me, how do you get the maximum number of perverts to come to your site through use of witty camera angles. I am ever so curious."

"Careful, bro. There's a whole world out there you really don't want to fucking see," Bro replied, grinning.

"You're right," Dave said. And then he put on his shades.


	5. Episode 5

**To Stab the Sky – 5**

There was no pre-show conversation this time. Dave and Bro just slumped on the couch, side by side, and flipped the TV on.

"Good job, TV Bro," Dave said. "That's totally the way to get a girl to sleep with you."

"He's too busy being awesome to think about that."

"Jegus, he must be pretty fucking busy then."

"Too busy being _awesome_," Bro repeated.

"Who's that asshole."

"I am so glad you phrased it like that."

"So who is he."

"Keep fucking watching and maybe you'll find out."

"Wow, he's a dick."

"Keep watching, assprat douchebag."

"It's so fucking fantastic when people talk about religion in shows like this. They're always total cults. Just come by and sign your soul away, you'll get all the benefits of wearing fucking bags and eating gruel forever. On the bright side, you won't go to hell. Well, probably. We are just making this shit up as we go."

"Sounds like what you do every day."

"Shut the fuck up." Dave touched the shades at his collar briefly. "Does TV Bro just solve all problems with fucking sunglasses and headbutts. Because if he does, he is just you all the fucking way."

"I'm sorry, I can't hear you. Maybe if you translated that into head slams for me?"

"Why are they drawing straws."

"Maybe if you paid attention you would know."

"I am paying attention, jackass. How does those glasses stay on his face? He just sort of sticks them on and they stay there."

"Magic."

"Why is your answer always magic."

"Miracles."

"Gogdammit, asshole, give me a real answer."

"There is no fucking real answer. Make one up and stop questioning things."

"How does TV Bro not get stabbed in the fucking head every time they combine. And if you say magic or miracles, I will just destroy you."

"He's a ninja. That is how."

"Is that annoying kid piloting the square one."

"Guess."

"Fuck you. Just answer."

"Look at the fucking screen."

"What. It was the priest. What the hell."

"Oh, I see. They put the title of the episode in the dialogue. Ha ha. Witty."

"Don't be such a dick."

"Oh, hey. He's admitting that the religion is made-up shit. Also that he killed ponytail guy's mom, I guess."

"Pretty much."

"Wow, what the hell. Bonding over not being able to read. Why would you give that guy a book then. I don't get it."

"You don't understand at all?"

"I don't—shut up. Just shut the fuck up."

"Now who's talking in episode titles?"

"Shut up."

Bro grinned, half expecting Dave to just get up and walk away, annoyed.

But Dave didn't leave. He just stayed on the couch with Bro, waiting for the next episode to start.

"You'll enjoy this one," Bro said.

"I'd fucking better."


	6. Episode 6

**To Stab the Sky – 6**

"Where is this going, anyway," Dave asked as the theme started. "It's been like five episodes and nothing has really happened."

"Chill, man. Don't you have any fucking patience? There are like twenty-six episodes or something, it's not like the main plot is just going to start right away. They're still collecting characters."

"Characters aren't fucking pokemon, why is it taking so long."

"Because you just get bored too easily."

"Hey, man, I'm a kid of the future. Lame shit is boring, what can I say."

"No, you're just too spoiled to see the beauty of it."

"How long is this fucking recap. It's been like five minutes of them just going through the last episode."

"They are analyzing it, you raging dickwad."

"They showed his dad again."

"Yeah, that happens."

"That was a weird speech. If eyes were in the back, wouldn't you just walk backwards. And then it'd be like you're moving forwards anyway."

"No, shut up. You're just an idiot."

"Never trust fucking old men. They're always the enemy in disguise. Why would you just do what he says without asking any questions. Fuck, he's not even talking. How sketchy is that."

"They just aren't very genre-savvy, obviously. Not everyone can be so brilliant all the time."

"Wow tits."

"As always."

"Sure, just eat the fucking food because they give it to you. That's genius."

"…I'm hungry now."

"Shit. From looking at that stuff. Why. It looked awful."

"I didn't say it was fucking relevant, did I? I'm just hungry."

"Go eat some fucking food, then. You shoul—_is that rat thing on his dick._"

"You noticed?"

"How could I fucking not."

"How else would you keep it classy?"

"Well, definitely not by shoving pigrats at crotches, I would think. That just _draws_ your fucking attention."

"Hey, look. More recaps. Your favourite."

"Did they just run out of budget for this episode and slap together clips from he first episode? What the hell is the point of watching this. We just fucking saw that episode the other day."

"Just in case you forgot." Bro grinned. "They want to make sure you really, really understand."

"If they wanted that, they'd explain how the fuck his sunglasses stay on."

"Mag—"

"_It's not fucking magic._"

"Suit yourself." Bro shrugged.

"Did I just see nipples. Like obviously drawn nipples. I thought they couldn't do that."

"That's what clothes are for, dipshit."

"I don't think those were clothes so much as shaded tits. Wow. Okay. More pigdick. Great. That's what I want to see. Fuck. It just keeps happening."

"I warned you about the molecock, bro. I warned you."

"A shades-shaped sword. And suddenly flashing. Okay. What just happened."

"Miracles. Miracles happened."

"Oh. That guy is back. Okay."

"Yep."

"This is getting stupid again. Why are you making me watch this."

"You'll see." Bro smiled.

"When."

"When you do."

"You're an idiot."

"And you're just a kid." Bro stood up, stretched, then reached down and ruffled Dave's hair. "You'll see."


	7. Episode 7

**To Stab the Sky – 7**

"Shit, man. Do we have to do this today. I'm fucking exhausted." Dave closed his eyes and leaned his head against the arm of the couch.

"You're always exhausted." Bro ruffled his hair, nimbly dodging as Dave swatted at him. "It's not like this takes effort. Or at least, it shouldn't."

"Let me sleep, asshole."

"Sleep at night."

"I can't."

Bro sighed. "Yeah, I know. Come here." He hook his arm around Dave's shoulders and pulled him closer. "Just one ep, okay?"

"Fine. Whatever." Dave pulled his glasses off. The light hurt his eyes a little, but he had to admit it was more comfortable without the shades always on his face.

"Good brat."

"Why would he wait for them to get dressed."

"Would you want to fight a bunch of guys, dongs flapping in the goddamn wind?"

"Fuck. You're right."

"Then again, it _is_ you…"

"I'll cut you."

Bro snorted. "I'd like to see you try."

"Okay, there are only so many comments about size I can take before my mind goes to—"

"Dicks. Yeah, I know."

"Right. Isn't that sort of—"

"I mean, I know how you are. I know how your mind fucking works, man. Get it?"

"Fuck you. You're such an asshole. Godammit, man." Dave frowned ever so slightly. "Why is TV Bro trying to fight that thing."

"You'd prefer it if he ran?"

"Isn't that the fucking smart thing to do. Live another day."

Bro suddenly pulled Dave into a manly one-armed hug. "Sometimes a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do."

"What the hell are you doing, get the fuck off me."

Bro laughed. "Uh huh."

"Seriously, asshole, I don't have the energy to fight your stupid ninja ass today."

"That just makes it more fun." Bro shrugged. "Hey, are you okay?"

"Why the fuck wouldn't I be."

"You look a little pale."

"I fucking told you, I'm exhausted. Fuck, it's cold in this house. What does a guy have to do to get a goddamn blanket around here."

Bro snorted. "Alright, pause it. I'll be right back." He returned moments later, tossing the fuzzy blanket over Dave's head as he pressed the play button.

"Nice. Good going, jerk. I—" But it was a close-up of TV Bro's eyes now. He stopped, mouth slightly open, forgetting what he was going to say. He just stared.

"It looks cool, eh?" Bro said, sitting back down and circling his arm around his little brother's shoulders.

"Does it hurt them when that bigass mech is trying to rip their mech apart. Isn't it just a robot."

"That's up to you to decide."

"That's just an asshole way of saying, 'I don't know', isn't it."

"You're getting smart." Bro grinned.

"Wow. That gorilla guy's screens just had like boobs all over them. I bet he'd make just a great fucking leader. Oh, hey, sarge, there's a war going on. Oh, you're watching porn. Okay, I'll just come back fucking later and _oh wait we've just been fucking bombed._"

"Maybe he bought his position."

Dave shifted a little on the couch. He was stiffer now, leaning towards the screen ever so slightly. "Is…is TV Bro going to die."

"Why would you think that?"

"They…they're getting beaten pretty badly, man. And he's refusing to run away."

"Would you run away?"

Dave hesitated. He suddenly didn't want to admit the answer he knew was right. Yes, Dave would run away. Because Dave _had_ run away. Every time he used the timetables to go back in time and save his own worthless ass…

Instead, he stared at the screen in stony silence. TV Bro was freaking out. That was an expression he didn't want to see. He had seen that expression before. He had seen it in his friends.

He had seen it in himself.

Bro was watching him carefully now. "Do you want to stop watching?"

"What. No," Dave replied quickly. Fuck. He had forgotten how shitty he was at keeping up the poker face without the shades. He gave everything away and all too fast. "He really trusts the kid."

"Yeah, man. TV Me trusts TV You to the end." Bro stretched a little, then grinned. "Just like reality."

"Yeah…I guess. Is TV Bro really just going to sit there. He's not going to do anything."

"Nope. He trusts TV Dave."

"Wow. They actually won." Dave leaned back, relaxing a little. His heart was beating faster than he had realized. Had he really been worried about a stupid shitty anime? No one ever died in these stupid things anyway.

"Now for a heartfelt post-battle speech."

"Broken by an erupting volcano for some reason, of course."

"Of course. It's a stage fit for men, after all-it fires the fighting spirit."

But Dave wasn't so sure. All he could think of was Lohac. All he could think of was the Beat Mesa.

All he could think of was Bro.


	8. Episode 8

**To Stab the Sky – 8**

"You ready for this, man?"

"The fuck. Of course I am. Why would I not be. It's just a shitty anime, you said that yesterday."

"Are you sure?"

"The shit. Why are you asking. That's kind of weird coming from you."

"You aren't tired or anything?"

"Of course I'm fucking tired, I don't fucking _sleep_. When has that stopped you from making me watch this shit."

"I'm just asking, Jegus."

"Well, stop it. It's fucking creepy."

Bro frowned but flipped the play button nonetheless. "Hey, it's you."

"Right. Because he can't sleep. I get it. _It's so fucking hilarious._"

"No, dumpass, listen to what I'm fucking saying."

"Right. Okay. I'm a pussy. Got it."

"For fuck's sake, Dave, you're an idiot."

"Oh, thanks, man. I thought you were going to, I dunno, apologize for being such a douchebag or something. Glad we cleared that up."

"Listen to what Tits is saying, you insufferable little prick."

"Okay. TV me is the key. To what. What the hell. What the hell are you saying." He paused. "Wow, he's just blatantly staring at her boobs, isn't he."

"Wouldn't you?"

"Well fuck, man, they're right there."

"Exactly."

"Wow, this is so awkward. Watching you make out with Tits is just so weird."

"Don't lie, it turns you on."

"_Fucking no it doesn't_."

"Sure, whatever you say. BRB man, I'm going to go make out with Tits. Hey, look, TV you is having the same reaction."

"Shit, no, that is not me."

"It totally is. Look, you're so freaked out that you can't even sustain a—"

"Okay, now you're really trying to make it into some shitty porn euphemism."

"I totally wasn't. That's all you, man. A pervert is you."

"Time to fight with the fucking sunglasses again, I see."

"It is _always_ time to fight with shades, asshole. _Always_."

"Damn, man. Make out with any broad you want, I don't give a shit. What's this kid's problem. He—holy fuck, TV Bro just punched the shit out of that kid."

"Just like reality, eh?"

"Fuck you. And how the fuck did TV Bro's cape just suddenly come back? It was there and then gone and then—"

"Shut up, you're going to miss the important parts."

"Did TV Bro just get shot."

Bro said nothing.

"And the leg…"

Still, silence.

"And he…impaled."

Silence.

"_Fuck you, asshole. _Did you fucking make me watch this stupid fucking shit because of this." Dave stood up. "Fuck you. I'm leaving. Just…just _fuck you, you asshole._"

"Sit the fuck down." Bro grabbed the back of Dave's shirt and yanked him forcefully back onto the couch. "Sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up."

"He's—he blinked, he's alive. What the hell. What kind of fucking fake out was that. Asshole producers. Asshole writers. Asshole animators. Just…assholes."

"A true man doesn't die, even when he's killed," said Bro. But Dave was ignoring him again now.

"He just threw the fucking arm of his mech away, what the shit."

"Keep watching, you stupid, noisy, dumbass prick."

"Fucking rainbows everywhere. Their transformation just gets more fabulous ever time."

"Keep fucking watching and shut the fuck up, how many times do I have to fucking tell you?"

"Wow. That is one hell of giant drill. So I guess they won, then. They—what."

"I told you to—"

"You sick bastard. You _sick, fucking bastard_."

"I said you—"

"Fuck you." Dave stood up again, stiff, gritting his teeth. Bro knew he was doing his best to keep an even temper, but he could see Dave's shoulders shaking.

"Listen, Dave, I—" Bro reached out to grab Dave's arm, wanting desperately to be able to explain before Dave inevitably stormed out. He wanted Dave to understand. He wanted Dave to know what he was doing, but before that, Dave would have to _listen_.

At this point, Bro was pretty sure that wasn't going to happen. Dave was too angry. He was too upset.

Bro didn't even blame him. He had known this would happen. He knew Dave. He knew what Dave had done. What he had done. It was just too much for the kid to handle. The betrayal was near irreparable. But…it was necessary.

It was the only solution Bro had been able to think of. The only way he could tell Dave what he wanted to without Dave ignoring him.

So much for that plan. He'd be lucky if Dave ever trusted him again now.

"No. You went too far, you asshole. Just…too far." Dave slapped Bro's hand away. "Just…just too far. Fuck."

Bro knew he couldn't stop Dave from leaving. He couldn't stop Dave from entering his room. He couldn't stop Dave from slamming and locking the door. He couldn't stop _anything._

Just like before.

Bro didn't see Dave again for three days.


	9. Intermission

**To Stab the Sky – Intermission**

"Dave…"

No answer.

Bro knocked on the door this time. "Dave."

Still there was silence.

"Dave, you need to eat, man. I know you're pissed at me, but you have to eat. I need you to at least do this for me, man. Just eat something."

Silence.

"Fuck it, Dave. I know you snuck out last night to get food and shit, but seriously, I don't think living on potato chips and fucking soda for three days is good for you, even with our shitty standards."

Fuck. Was the kid even still alive? Bro couldn't hear anything. He couldn't even hear the kid _breathing_. Should he kick down the door?

But what if Dave was there, listening? Kicking the door down would guarantee that Dave would never speak to him again. Ever.

"Dave, you have to let me explain. You didn't even let me finish. Fuck, man." Bro pressed his forehead to the door with a _thunk_. "Seriously, man. I'm getting pretty fucking worried. You not talking to me is sort of normal, but this is…this is different."

Silence.

"Dave, I'm scared."

_Click._

The door swung open a few mere inches, just enough to show one red eye and a sliver of pale skin.

"Fuck off."

"Dave, listen to me." Bro quickly braced his foot against the door so that Dave couldn't slam it again.

"No. Fuck you."

Fuck, was the kid even sleeping? His eyes were bloodshot, nearly matching his damn irises. There were dark bags under his eyes, too, and he looked pale. He looked sick. Had he been crying?

_Of course he's been crying_, Bro thought, scolding himself. _He's only 14. This is way too much for a brat like him._

"Go away."

Bro paused. Shit. Swearing was nothing for Dave—it was when he started speaking like a normal kid that he had to really worry.

"Bro, go away. I don't want to f—I don't want to talk to you."

Bro mulled over his options. He could leave Dave alone, of course. He could respect his little brother's wishes and give him time to recover. Maybe they could patch things up afterwards.

Or, he could burst in and _force_ Dave to listen to him. He could risk making the problem worse and just _go for it._

In true Strider style, Bro chose the latter.

He thrust his palms against the door and Dave fell over backwards. The kid was weak from three nearly foodless, nearly sleepless days and nights, of course—it didn't take much to knock him over.

Dave made a mad scramble for the door, his panicked mind locked on the flight response. This time, Bro wasn't going to let him go. It was now or never. He caught Dave by the arm and hoisted him up. Dave struggled, but it was useless. He fell limp.

"Finally. Are you done bitching?" Bro asked. He dragged Dave to the bed and propped him up against the bedpost. Dave said nothing.

"Look, man. You aren't listening to me. You won't even let me explain."

"Why would you do that."

Bro stopped. "What?"

"Why would you fucking do that to me. I thought—I thought you'd understand. I thought you'd understand what kind of… Fuck, man."

Bro could see that Dave was fighting back tears. He was exhausted and hungry and upset. His body shook and his hands trembled. He was trying so hard to be strong. _Too _hard.

"Look, man…" Bro reached an arm around his brother and pulled him closer. "Look, you aren't seeing it my way. Fuck. I knew you wouldn't, but like the asshole I am, I thought I'd push anyway. You know me." Dave was collapsing under the weight of Bro's arm. Fuck. He was in worse shape than Bro had thought. "Sh, man, it's okay. It's okay."

"Bro…you asshole."

Bro snorted. There would be no touching scenes here, that was for sure. No flowery words of forgiveness. "I know, man."

"Just…just why. That…image." Dave buried his face in his hands. "Shit, man, that image. I see that image every fucking night when I try to sleep. You're…you're always just lying there… and me, I'm… There are so many of me… I just…"

"I know." Bro rubbed Dave's back gently.

"There's always fire everywhere…and it's so hot… _and then you go and do something like this, you goddamn fucking asshole prick douchebag cocksucker._"

Bro had to suppress a chuckle. "I know, man. I know it's hard. .You think I don't have fucking nightmares? Why do you think I've been making you watch all these shitty shows with me? I don't want to fucking lose you. Not again. Not like that."

"Shut up, asshole. I was the one that lost _you_. Don't you even try to get any fucking sympathy from me, you dickhole. You got it nice and easy. You only had to die fucking _once._"

"Jegus, I'm not trying to argue that with you. I'm trying to fucking explain myself, will you let me do that? Fuck, man."

Dave closed his eyes and rested his head against Bro's side. "Fine. Fucking explain yourself. Go ahead."

"Dave, I wasn't trying to show you just _that_ episode. I was trying to show you something _after_ that. If that episode wasn't necessary, I would have skipped it, but… You had to see it, man. It wouldn't work if you didn't. You had to see what happened."

"You don't make any fucking sense."

"Remember what I said? You knew who TV Bro was. Who did I say TV Dave was?"

"That fucking green haired guy. You're such an asshole. How many times are you going to make that lame—"

"No, dumbass. I said you were the kid."

Dave didn't feel like crying anymore. He was all cried out. The tears of fourteen years packed into a three day stint and now he was just fucking _tired_. There wasn't a drop of water left in his body to spare for fucking tears. He was a cool guy. Cool guys didn't cry. And _certainly_ not in front of their smartass brothers. He felt lame. "So what."

"Don't you want to see what happens now?"

"Does it matter. They lost. TV Bro is dead."

"No. Dave, they won. They won the battle."  
>"No. Bro died. They lost."<p>

Bro sighed. "Look, man. Sometimes…sometimes that just happens. You can understand that, right? I mean…"  
>"I already experienced it. Is that what you're saying."<p>

"Yeah."

"Fuck." Dave was too tired to fight Bro any longer. He just wanted sleep. Blank, dreamless sleep.

"Dave, I know how you felt about the game. How you felt about your role in the game. About being a hero."

"I wasn't a hero."

"I know. Fuck, no, that's not what I meant. Just—I want you to see the rest, okay? Will you watch the rest with me? Come on, man."

"Fine," Dave said. Anything that would make the talking stop. Anything that would let him sleep. He didn't want to argue. As much as he hated to admit it, it was kind of nice to spend a little time with Bro again, like when he was a little kid. He wasn't taking Bro for granted anymore. They were just hanging out. It made him feel like he had a family.

_Bro __**is**__ family,_ Dave reminded himself. _He always has been._

"Alright, man. I'll make you keep that promise." Bro stood up, pulling back the bedcovers for Dave. "But get some sleep. You look like a fucking vampire. The sparkly asshole kind, too, not the badass motherfucker kind."

"Shut up. Fuck off." Dave crawled between the sheets and shoved his face back into the pillow. It was weird not wearing shades all the time now. It was…comfortable.

"Yeah, yeah. Sweet dreams to you, too."

"Asshole."

"Prick."

But Bro smiled.


	10. Episode 9

**To Stab the Sky – 9**

Dave wasn't sure how Bro had managed to get him back on the couch and watching the shitty anime. It felt pointless. TV Bro wasn't alive anymore. They'd lost.

"Who the fuck is that chick. Did she just replace TV Bro in the opening?"

Bro paused. "Wow. Okay, I actually didn't expect you to catch that. Anyway, you'll see."

But Dave wasn't listening anymore. He was watching TV Dave pull at his armband. His throat seemed to have stopped working. He was choking as silently as he could, hoping Bro wouldn't notice.

"What the hell is a Helix King."

"Just keep watching." Bro didn't have the drive to scold Dave today. He had to tread carefully. He waited for Dave to comment on the rain pouring down the face of the Gurren. It was too clichéd for Dave _not_ to say something snarky. But it never came.

Bro watched Dave's face carefully. He had a strained expression, and it was difficult to decipher his feelings.

"Did the animation change."

"What?" Bro twitched, surprised at the sudden comment.

"It looks different."

"Yeah, it changes once and a while."

"I see." Dave went back to being silent.

Bro stretched an arm around him. "Look, man…"

Dave shook him off. "I'm…I'm not comfortable with that."

Bro was at a loss for words. "Sorry." Dave never said things like that. It was so…strange.

"Stop staring at me, too." Dave glanced up at Bro's face, eyes narrowed to crimson slits.

"Sorry, man. I'm just—"

"Worried. Well, don't be." Dave crossed his arms and slumped against the back of the couch.

_I can't help it, dumpass,_ Bro thought. But he said nothing. That was just the Strider way.

"Is this why you said I'm that kid." Dave stiffened. "I wasn't like that, you know."

"Oh?"

"I didn't act like this asshole."

"You're telling me you weren't reckless?"

"Of course I wasn…" That was a lie. Dave had nearly thrown himself into a suicide mission with the Green Sun. _Twice_.

Bro ruffled his hair. Dave was too deep in thought to slap him away. "You look like shit, man."

"Thanks, fucker. That makes me feel all warm and fucking fuzzy on the inside."

"No, shut up. Seriously. Are you okay? You're really pale. Any more and you'll be a goddamn sparkly asshole vampire."

"I'm fine."

"If you say so."

"That kid is going fucking crazy."

"Yeah."

"He's just flipping the fuck out."

"Yeah."

"Is that mecha throwing up. What the hell." He paused. "Who the fuck is that."

"Keep watching."

"She…she kind of reminds me of Jade." Dave watched the colourful girl move around on the screen with muted interest. Silly, naïve, optimistic… His stomach clenched.

"Who?"

"You know who Jade is, you asshole."

"Was she the derpy little girl Egbert?"

"Fuck you. But yes."

"_If anyone else is going to die, it's going to be me._ Is that what you thought?"

"I'm not that fucking kid."

"You didn't answer the question."

Dave didn't reply. Instead, he asked, "She's…the enemy."

Bro just smiled. "That's a good question, isn't it?"


	11. Episode 10

**To Stab the Sky – 10**

"Are you ready to get your mech on?"

Dave looked up from his homework. "I thought you gave up on that shit."

"Fuck no. Come on, it hasn't been that long. I figured I'd give you a break for your tests. Is this really how you're going to repay me?"

"Piss off, I'm studying."

"Liar. I can see you texting from here."

Bro was right. Dave had been slacking.

But that didn't make him want to watch it any more.

"Fuck off." Dave slid the phone nonchalantly into his sleeve.

"Come on, lil bro. Are you really going to say no to these eyes?" Bro flicked his pointy shades up, grinning. "No one says no to this level of swag. _No __one_."

"For fuck's sake, if it'll make you leave me alone, fucking _fine_." Dave stood and slouched his way over to the couch. He slumped there, aiming to project the highest level of apathy possible.

Bro ignored him. "Fantucking fastic." He leaned forward and slapped the DVD into the player, pressed the power switch and leaned back, flicking his sunglasses off and hanging them around his collar in one swift movement. "Are you ready for another round of sheer animated beauty?"

"I forgot how many rainbows this shit had," Dave said as he unwillingly pulled off his own shades. "Did they just bet on how many colours they could fit into the openi—" His voice caught in his throat as TV Dave tugged at his armband. Scenes from previous episodes flashed across the screen in recap, grey and desaturated in comparison. Dave pressed himself against the back of the couch, wishing he could just disappear.

Noticing this, Bro wrapped an arm around him, putting him in a half-hearted headlock. "Just wait until you see the sheer number of tits in this video. Look, they're even on that mech."

"Are those fucking _eyeball_ tits."

"Oh, yes. Yes, they are."

"Is that dude just a fucking punching bag."

"Yeah, pretty much."

Dave's lips twitched in near-imperceptible frustration. "What a bitch."

"Oh? You warming up to the catshark?"

"Is that—is that what he is."

"Possibly."

"Are you just making shit up."

"That is also possible."

"You are such an asshole."

"It seems that way, doesn't it?" Bro leaned back, ruffling his fingers through Dave's hair. Dave swatted at him, but quieted down when he realized that it wasn't helping. If nothing else, the kid was a quick learner.

"What kind of mood whiplash bullshit is this supposed to be."

"It's a good old fashioned display of the carnivalesque," Bro replied.

"Yeah, that wasn't what I meant."

"I know. You'll see, lil bro."

Dave's grip tightened on the couch as the dialogue turned to the late TV Bro. Phrases like "_because __my __Bro __believed __in __me__"_ started popping up on the screen and Dave wasn't really sure he could take it. He fidgeted, silently debating whether he should stay and watch the rest or make a made dash for the door.

Bro tightened his grip around Dave's shoulders. Well, there went any hope of escape now. At least, any hope of escape without broken bones.

Thankfully, the scene cut away as quickly as it had appeared. Dave took a careful breath.

"Why is that guy wiggling his ass so damn much," Dave asked.

Bro grinned. "Is it distracting? Does it call to you? His bulbous bottom? Those fashionably pink pants?"

"Fuck off. That's _your_ thing. Don't lump me in with your creepy-ass crowd."

"Whatever you say, lil bro."

"TV Bro was always laughing…"

"Hm?"

"Nothing. Fuck off."

"Ooh?"

"Yeah, Tits is right. TV Bro was a fucking idiot," Dave snapped.

"Hey, shut up for a minute. This bit's important."

Dave watched in silence for a few moments. "What, the catfight between Tits and Hippie."

"Shoosh," Bro commanded, smacking Dave in the back of the head with an open hand.

"Is that mech talking out of its crotch."

"Yes. Yes it is."

"That is just about the least intimidating thing I can think of. Why the fuck would you design something like that. It's just so—_Jesus_ that angle is awful. That just makes it so much worse."

"Don't lie, you love it."

"What, that mech won't even work now. What happened to the power of love and all that bullshit that shitty anime run on. Did they just give up, like, 'nope, sorry kids, your tears actually _won't_ bring your puppy back to life!'"

"I'm sure you'll get your fill of that later. Pace yourself, man, there're enough spongey feels to go around for everyone."

"Why the fuck did that dude just save her, she's such a goddamn bitch."

"They're on the same team, aren't they? That should be reason enough. Sometimes you've gotta overlook the little things."

"She's beating the shit out of him even after he saved her. What kind of fucking display of gratitude is that supposed to be."

Bro shrugged. "I never said it had to make sense."

But Dave wasn't listening. He stood up suddenly, raking his fingers through his hair, still staring at the screen. "Yeah, you're right. I'm not like you."

Bro snorted, reaching up to grab Dave's arm. "Dave, that is _not_ what the whole point of the—"

Dave pulled away. "I'm sorry I didn't fight with you to the end. I'm sorry I wasn't fucking _there_."

"Dave, that's not what I fucking—"

"It's cool. I've got it. Look, I have work to do. I'm out." Dave hastened his coolkid stride to a brisk pace and vanished behind his bedroom door, locking it with a resounding _click_. Bro watched him go, frowning ever so slightly at the receding back.

_ Well, fuck._


	12. Episode 11

**To Stab the Sky - 11**

Sometimes, the best way to deal with a Strider was also the simplest.

That was a lie, of course. The best way to deal with a Strider was _always_ the simplest, Occam's Razor all the way, and because of that, it was the easiest to overlook. Layers of irony nonwithstanding, if a guy wanted something done, he would just have to make it fucking happen himself.

So Bro did.

At the first tell-tale click of the key in the lock, Bro shut the DVD player and turned, one corner of his mouth turned up in the faintest smile. He'd waited three days-plenty long enough, he reasoned-and he wasn't going to take no for an answer.

Dave shouldered the door open and plunked his backpack in the middle of the hall, shuffling off his shoes and slumping his way into the kitchen.

"Do we have any-" he began, his voice immediately being choked away by the muscular arm constricting his throat.

"Yup," said Bro, who then proceeded to drag a struggling Dave to the couch.

"No, fuck you," Dave said, digging his nails into the back of the sofa for support as Bro tried to topple him over backwards. "I am not watching this fucking shit again. I saw what I was supposed to see. It's finished, done, over with, this bird is pushing up goddamn fucking daisies and you're just nailing it to the perch." But Dave was young and Bro was strong and soon enough Dave had been flipped over the edge, ass pointing skywards and shades knocked askew.

In turn, Bro nimbly hopped the couch and bounced into his seat, slapping Dave's back with an open palm so that the kid slid to the floor with a mighty _thud_ of knees against hardwood.

"Fuck," Dave spat.

"Suck it up," said Bro. "We're finishing this thing."

Dave tried to slip away but Bro caught him by the shirt collar and slung him back onto the couch, anchoring the kid at his side with one heavy arm around his shoulders.

"Yes. Perfect," said Bro. "Let's get this _done_."

So he pressed play.

The opening credits passed with little comment, and Bro wondered if Dave was going to try and ignore the episode in its entirety. Bro gave an inward laugh; the kid'd never be able to pull it off. He was cool as a cucumber on the outside, but he wasn't one to pass up entertainment, regardless of the quality. Hell, sometimes in _spite_ of quality-where else would he find imagination fodder for his websites? Shit begits shit and good taste is pretty hard to overlook.

"This is stupid," Dave said immediately.

"Keep watching," Bro replied.

"He's just lying there," Dave said.

"Keep watching."

"Fucking useless." Dave's voice was dripping with poorly concealed disgust at this point, and Bro wondered if he was still talking about the kid on screen. Soundlessly, Bro reached his hand up and ruffled his fingers through Dave's feathery blonfr hair. For once, Dave didn't fight back.

"You'll see."

Dave's hands balled into fists and he measured his words carefully, pressing them through gritted teeth. "Even the others realize it."

"You'll see."

"He's carving fucking effigies of his goddamn brother over and over and all you have to say is, '_you'll see_.' What the hell kind of grieving process is that, it's the definition of insanity-doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. It's not going to bring TV Bro back, why is he even fucking bothering."

"Sometimes people do weird things."

"Yeah, no shit, don't think I ever went that weird, though, building shrines to you out of broken gears or some bullshit like that. I did a pirouette off an unbroken blade and the process was _done._"

Bro rubbed the back of Dave's head absently with the pads of his fingers. "Yeah, well, it's a show about mole people fighting mutants in mechs, what do you expect?"

"Something fucking _decent_, maybe." He slouched lower in his seat and regarded the fresh scene skeptically. "Is that guy a fucking idiot. Why the hell is he believing that bullshit."

"Clearly, he is thinking with his lower head."

"No shit. He took the bait like a dumb bass after rain."

"Dumb bass."

"I heard it too, shut the fuck up." Dave crossed his arms tight across his chest and glared at the screen, unwilling to allow for further comment. He knew the line was shitty the moment he delivered, but he wasn't about to get into a strife about it. "Oh, god. The kid again. Why don't they just cut him the fuck out of this show. He's just going to bitch about the girl now. 'Ooohh, nooo, everyone I know is going to diiiee.' How fucking terrible."

"Yes. Because that is how you script a twenty-seven episode series. By dumping the main character and killing off the rest. Legit planning right there."

"Shut up." To Bro's surprise, he sat up, looking almost curious. "Another animation change."

"I told you it happens."

"That's pretty-holy fuck, that alligator is the king of sketch. How the hell does he even think that would work. Do alligators even have proper junk. Does he really expect she'd-shit, he's even getting off on being slapped. What kind of show are you making me watch, this is indecent, it's violating my innocent sensibilities."

"Don't tell me you wouldn't be the same."

"Of course I fucking wouldn-wow. Okay. Eating a wall. Great plan, dude. Obviously that is the best solution. I'm trapped in a room, better eat my way out. Logic plain and simple. I can't wait for him to win a Darwin award."

"Hey. Look."

"Look at what, the villagers bitch and moan and-"

"I said fucking _look_. You have eyes, don't you? _Use_ them."

Dave fell silent, watching the kid chip away at the stony wall with his miniature drill. "Yeah. So."

"He's not so useless now, is he? I'm pretty sure he's the only one in a roomful of peeps to get his dig on the right way. He's making motherfucking _progress_."

"So."

"So nothing. Watch the fucking show."

"...Hey."

"What?"

"If this was supposed to be some sort of massive innuendo in disguise, does that mean he's fucking bedrock."

Bro snorted loudly and clapped a gloved hand to his face. "Man, I'm so glad my once ankle-biter of a little bro grew up in to a fine man capable of reasoning with such perfect perversion. Truly, we are related. Don't let anyone tell you differently."

"Oh god. Not this believe in the me who believes in you who believes in me who believes in belief who-"

"Recurring theme, bro. Get used to it."

"Motherfucker, did he just find that thing he threw out. Holy deus ex machina Batman and colour me _surprised_ because it was not _completely obvious_ that they were going to find a way out of this."

"Scriptwriting at its finest, little bro. Scriptwriting at its finest."

"Wow. How did she not see that coming. Of course they're going to kill him first_. If you talk about him they'll kill him first._ She might as well have shown a wallet picture of her kids and gone off to war, shit's lethal."

"Give her a break, man, you're harsh as fuck. Bet you weren't like that when that girl Egbert of yours said she'd never seen a streetlight before."

"Fuck you." Dave snorted at the sudden burst of mecha-packed action. "Wow. That's fucking obscene. This is what robot porn must look like."

"Nah, man, roboporn is way better."

"It's like you're speaking from experience."

Bro just shot Dave a toothy grin and the kid shuddered. "Why are we related."

"I ask myself that every day, little dude."

"On my back and in my heart..."

"What?" Bro asked, feigning deafness and cupping a leathery hand to his ear. "I can't hear you."

"Nothing. I said fucking nothing."

"Who the hell do you think I am?" The corners of Bro's mouth twitched in amusement and Dave elbowed him hard in the gut. The resulting pain was worth it.

"Shut the fuck up and what the hell, that drill was massive. How the fuck did that work. I think there are some pretty heft laws of physics being violated here."

"Yeah, well, they dropped the soap on physics a few times. I wouldn't worry my pretty little head about it too much if I were you."

"Boobs is totally right by the way. What a shitty nickname. 'The Digger'. Yeah, that'll sure strike fear into the hearts of mortal men. Oh no, he's going to use magnitude 4, better run before he pelts you with pebbles. Shit son, he just got sand in my eyes. Best surrender peacefully, there's no coming back from that."

"Would you have preferred some emo bullshit instead? Prince of Darkness? Overlord of Terror? Nyarlotep, Wrecker of Sanity? Not gonna lie, the last one would be pretty sweet."

"Fuck you, and it's over now. Can I leave."

"Sure, bro. Anything you want. Same time tomorrow."

"Maybe."

As Bro watched Dave's retreating back, he allowed himself a little inward congratulations. Without a doubt, he'd be turning that "maybe" into a "fuck yes" in no time.


	13. Episode 12

**To Stab the Sky - 12**

When Bro got home from the store that day, he was in for a surprise. Setting the bag of records on the table, he glanced over to the living room. There, poking out above the couch, was the telltale blonde head of his little brother.

"You waiting for me?" Bro called, a hint of teasing in his voice.

"Hell no," said Dave. Yet, as Bro rounded the partition, it was clear that there was nothing playing-not even, Bro noted, a shitty video game.

"You okay, kid?" Bro took his seat on the couch, wrapping a muscular arm around the kid's shoulders. "Need me to change your diaper? Does baby need his bottle?"

"Fuck you," said Dave, crossing his arms tight across his chest, a slight coolkid scowl playing across his lips.

"Seriously, man. You okay?"

"Fucking peachy."

Bro raised his hand to rifle his fingers through his brother's hair, the ruffling motion being the only permissable act of familial affection by order of Dave. The kid didn't seem to be one for arbitrary touching, so massive bear-like brohugs were right out. He was missing out, really, but maybe he'd come round eventually. For now, though, it made for good harassment fodder.

"Come on, kid. Out with it."

"Nothing's wrong, Jesus. Lay off."

"You been having bad dreams again?"

By the way Dave's shoulders stiffened, the answer was an obvious _yes_. Bro sighed and leaned back, pulling his brother tight against his side.

"Were they about me?"

Another shudder ran through the kid's body and Bro watched him silently through his shaded spectacles. Dave had on his traditional blank face, but it was just a mask. The tiny tremors in his torso gave him away.

"It's alright. I'm here. Come on, let's watch some of this shit, take your mind off of things."

Bro lifted the remote, though he distinctly heard Dave mutter, "Wouldn't help, the only good characters been killed off anyway." He pressed play and let his hand drop from Dave's head to his shoulder, where he kneaded the kid's arm absently with his thumb.

The intro played with little comment from Dave, though he did seem to be leaning pretty heavily against Bro's side.

"Holy shit it's a beach episode," Dave said suddenly. "It's a boobs episode. It's a holy shit how old is that kid how is this even legal."

"Every good show should have a boobs episode. I mean a beach episode."

"Why is Boobs so adamant about this. She's like the first person I would think would put on a-what the shit is wrong with the turtle guy."

"The turtle guy?"

"The one with the eyeshadow."

Bro snorted. "Sure, turtle guy."

"God, that is the ugliest fucking bathing suit I've ever seen. It's like. Made of curtains."

"Truly, she has an excellent stylist." Bro grinned lopsidedly. "How about TV Harley?"

"What about her."

"Isn't she cute?"

"That's the sort of thing a kid would wear."

"Ah, so you really are a connoisseur of the meatbags. I am starting to paint a picture in my mind, the picture of what you find attractive. Bulbous bottoms and buxom bosoms-"

"No. No. Shut up. No. I'm sorry I am not turned on by a cartoon girl in a frilly one piece. Guess I'm just not as fucking perverse as you."

Bro waved his hand dismissively. "Nah, she's not my type. Come on, let's partake in the watching of her completely dominate Boobs in every competition."

"Wow, Mary-Sue alert, way to be good at fucking everyth-"

Quickly, Bro reached up and hooked his fingers around a section of Dave's cheek, pinching it tight. "Hush. We do not speak of the honerable princess in that way." Dave swatted at him and, for once, Bro was nice and let go right away.

"I am so distracted by Boobs' suit, it is just the ugliest fucking thing ever. That shade of yellow should never see the light of day ever."

"What, are you going into fashion design or something?"

"No, I just have goddamn eyes."

"Yeah, alright, it's ugly as shit, agreed." Bro finally conceeded, giving a sharp nod that jostled Dave against him.

"DId the scorpian just flash the audience."

"You know, she reminds me of someone," said Bro. "Can't quite put my finger on it."

"Yeah, I'll bet you can't," Dave snorted. "Wow these guys are dumbasses. Way to drive your robots _right into the fucking ocean_. Good job. Why didn't they make them waterproof in the first place, anyway. Major fucking oversight right there."

"Yeah, well. What can you do."

"You'd make it better."

"Well of course I'd make it better, I would be a fucking god in that world," said Bro. "So, really, it'd be the same as normal life."

"Ha. Ha," said Dave in monotone.

"That scorpion is a sadist, isn't she. She's totally getting off on all of this."

"Yeah, well. Seems to fit. A scorpion is as a scorpion does, huh."

"What the fuck are you talking about," aked Dave.

"I'll tell you when you're older."

"Holy long strangled sound Batman, what was-_why is her robot wearing high heels and why was the stiletto in the big robot's mouth._" Dave leaned forward a little, clearly squinting at the screen. "Is this robot sex. Is this the robot sex you were talking about. It's disturbing as all fuck."

"Shh. Just take it in, lil bro. Just take it all in. Let it wash over your eyes and into your brain."

"Stop. Stop sounding like you're seducing me. Stop that."

"Sorry, man," said Bro. "I can't turn off all this swag."

"Wow, TV Harley's hair is weird as fuck. That can't be normal."

"Sometimes you've gotta sacrifice a cloudy coif for the greater good," said Bro.

"Cue obligatory haircut scene," said Dave.

"Don't get ahead of yourself, little dude. Soon you'll be writing episodes and, dare I say it, _fanfiction_."

"Hell no. I'm not stooping that low," said Dave. "Asshole."

"You're welcome."

"Wow, way to blow up your fucking ship."

"Nah, they're all good. Surf's up, time to ride the waves across the blue, blue ocean."

"So, what. No negative repercussions to that at all. Wow. _Wow._"

Bro reached up and clasped the arm of his shades between his fingers. "You might say...they went out with a bang." He pulled the sunglasses down just enough to peek out at Dave and grin.

"No. No. You didn't just go there."

"Oh, yes. I went there. I went there and back with change to spare."

"How are we even fucking related." Dave shuddered, but it was a mock shudder this time and the worry nestled deep in Bro's chest began to lighten a little. "So, what. Now Boobs' massive jealousy problem is just gone."

"Poof, magic."

"Way to have a filler episode."

"It wasn't filler. It was fanservice. There's a difference."

"There's no difference," said Dave.

"There's a difference," Bro repeated. "Trust me."

"Let me guess. It's based on boners."

"Ding-ding-ding. Correct."

"You sicken me." But Dave leaned back and Bro resumed rubbing his brother's arm with his thumb.

"Cute haircut, huh? Maybe you should ask Harley what she'd look like with short hair."

"How does that even relate. There's a difference between reality and TV, asshole."

"Sure, sure. Just wondering. A hairstyle can do a lot, you know. It can fucking transform a person."

"You're right. Let's test that. Let me shave your head."

"Nah, man. This coif's off limits. Let it keep its home, nestled all nice and comfy in my stellar hat." Bro tipped his cap slightly, the worn brim rough against his fingertips.

"Lame-ass."

"Jerkwad."

Slowly, Dave's weight began to rest more heavily on Bro, until he was collapsed against him. The kid said nothing, but he closed his eyes, clearly in need of a good sleep. In response, Bro reached behind the couch's back and groped around for a minute before catching a blanket between his fingers and drawing it up and over, tucking Dave in as best he could with the kid still plastered to him.

Bro put his feet up on the coffee table, leaned back, and joined his little bro in dreamland.


End file.
